macam-macam lah!

pabila tiada kata yg mampu diucapkn utk menggambarkn perasaan diri..
haish..tapaham aku ape yg ko nk!
ko nk salahkn ak? go ahead.. ak da xnk kesah ape2 lg da..
mmg selame ni ko mmg xnk jage ati ak kn?
ko fkir ko je yg nk happy.. ak? ade ko kesah?
ak diam, ak tggu, ak perhatikan.
tp itu xbermakna hati ak xsakit.. sakit sgt tau x?!
dan bile kesakitan itu melampaui had yg ak bole tanggung, ak give up..
ak xsekuat perempuan itu.. dan aku adalah aku..
biarlah ak pergi.. mencari ketenangan dengan insan yg bole terima ak..
kalau ade lah.. mungkin ade tp ak xpernah nk buka ati ak..
skang, ak xkesah sape2 lg da..
ko bole bahagia. so do i..

*mencari kumbang yg bole terima bunga kelayuan*

oke. i'm done!

terima kasih daun keladi.

kerana buat saya begini.

jangan pernah menyalahkan diri.

kerana saya layak menangis sendiri.

moga-moga bahagia. tiada kata-kata yg mmpu diucapkan.

hanya bole senyum dalam sendu.

saya mengundur diri.

assalamu'alaikum.

hah! ini makan nye!

ohmai!

sila bersabar ye.

sy tau pic itu sgt besar.

hahahaha!

tersilap suda.

len kali bru dpt tuka.

ishk, nk my lappy back!

i can see thru u.

its been days.

since u last texting me.

its been days.

since you last call me.

its been days.

since you last says you miss me.

its been days.

since you last says you love me.

its been days.

since you last share your happy moment.

its been days.

since you last updating about your whereabout.

its been days.

since you last chit-chatting with me.

its been days.

since you last take care about me.

its been days.

since you last spare your time for me.

its been days.

since you last checking-up on me.

its been days.

since you last being friendly with me.

its been days.

since you last remember me.

its been days.

since you last lovey-dovey with me.

its been days.

since you last being sincere with me.

and its been days.

since you last actually love me.

najib, i can see through you.

jawapan sepucuk surat

enak aku bersandar,
dicelahan kotak-kotak yang tersusun dibenak pemikiran,
di halaman,
terdengar kokokan si jantan dan derunya si manja,
di bumbung.
menyusun bait-bait kata,
hanya untuk menyelesaikan satu kerisauan,
berdetap-detap dipaluan hati,
kerana merasa titisan tangisan,
setelah puas ku bacakan sepucuk surat,
dari sang mawar.

aku sentiasa tahu,
kau merasakan bahawa aku jawapan dari doa mu,
kau menganggapku satu seruan dalam semangat dirimu,
kau mahukan detik berlalu dengan ada petahan kata ku,

sejarah tuah mengajar aku,
tidak ada sumpah terlaksana,
tanpa ada setia,
tidak ada janji,
jika depannya masa masih lagi diulit misteri.

kala nya,
kau harus sedar,
aku itu bukan aku,
aku itu bukan warna pada kau,
aku hanya perindu biasa,
hanya berpegang pada masa,
tanpa ada pegangan yang dirasa.

aku,
hanya mampu berkata,
ampun tidak aku relakan,
kerana salah yang tidak langsung menjenguk,
dari mawar yang tidak langsung aku lupa.

kerana kita adalah sama.

-muhammad najib bin mohamad supian-

*jumpe ini lam kotak memori*

goodbye!

dia bahagia!

syukur alhamdulillah..

walaupun bukan denganku..

atleast, dia mampu senyum n gelak ketawa bersama yg tersayang..

denganku?naaah..he wont be like that..

atleast, dgn girl itu dia bole sentiasa lepaskan tension bersama..

denganku?geezz..he wont share with me..

atleast, dia bole sentiasa jumpa aka dating..

denganku?duuuh..ak jauh kot..

xpela.. dia bahagia,ak pun kne tumpang bahagia gak la..kn?

i'm not trying to be an angel right here..

but everytime i read her blog, he tore my heart into pieces..

i cant let myself getting hurt like that..

i cant let he fool me anymore..

whatever his reason may be, i just cant stand it anymore..

the alibi are there.. its purely proven..

what else he and i can say?dun try to deny it..

its proven.. :')

just, i'm soo hurt right now.. hoping i can forgive him..

i will someday..

goodbye najib~

Lara Fabian - Broken vow

Tell me her name
I want to know
The way she looks
And where you go
I need to see her face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end

Tell me again
I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night
When I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own

I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch
That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time

I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realize
There's more to life than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes

I'd give away my soul
To hold you once again
And never let this promise end

I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

why the silent?

urghh..masalah!
gonna deactivate fb for a while..
and this blog also..
need a fresh air..
later!

i _ _ _ _ you!

i _ _ _ _ you!

fill in the blanks and tell me what u think.

ok babe?

the situation is like: i'm being stupid. he doesn't even bother to text or col me. busy kateny.

saya takut.

saya takut.

untuk tahu sebabnya.

saya takut.

untuk tahu kesudahannya.

saya takut.

untuk tahu apa yg akan jadi.

saya takut.

untuk tahu kehidupan saya tanpa dia.

saya takut.

untuk apa jua kata-kata dari dia.

najib, chuk takut.

speak up ur mind!

ohoi. pepagi (pagi ke?) dh panas ni pehal? kt luar tu ujan lebat okeh.
ini la gara-gara high level of curiosity.
bukak sana. bukak sini. last-last ko yg t'cengang!

oh mama, sesungguhnya anakmu ini tak berdaya lagi. selamatkan la anakmu ini.
hahaha! apekes? you might know.

najib supian aka sampah hitam, please speak up your mind. even if you don't, i still know.
i just wanna hear the truth from your very heart. doesn't matter if it's hard to confess.
i get it now. i said i get it. conprendo? good!

cik shuhada adaa, saya minta maaf. it's the only word that i can say coz i know i've ruin your happy moment with najib. but seriously, i didn't intend to. i didn't know his feeling grew deeper on you. since yes, i'm too ego to admit. i've speak up my mind to him couple days ago. act, i dunno what he think. i'm not anymore. but what i do know is that he love you and he can't get you out of his mind. he is the superman but i'm not his louis lane and kryptonite anymore. it's you! but still, i do hope for him. hehehehe~ jangan marah ye. he once used to be my everything and i know he might not in the future. only hoping that he will even the chances is veeery slim. gudluck to both of you. be happy and please take care of him as i can't anymore. peace ^^

memilih.

kwn saya ckp.

"pegang pada yg memegang, bukan pada yg melepaskan"

well, can't say more. agree 120%

in this case, i am the "let go" and she might be the "holding".

hoping he can choose wisely.

even its hard to admit, people's advise is "past is past".

that's the fact and you can't deny it.

logically and theoritically, he will choose her.

because "pegang pada yg memegang, bukan pada yg melepaskan".

 but i do pray, i do hope for him choosing me.

i know i've sinned alot to him.

but every person deserve second chance.

hopefully, the second chance will bring more happiness and bittersweet memories like we used to be.

it will. it will. insyaAllah.

do'a for it every prayer.

*taken on 260810*

sekali lagi.

again, i feel like surrender.
i can rite?
hmm..
taktau mane nk fkir.
taktau mane nk caye.
i gave you the answer.
terserah la apepon keputusan nti.
sgt taklarat nk hadapi sume ni.

iye. saya tau!

heh. i know that. i know what u meant.
klakar pon ade. perang blog kah?
whatever. dun give a damn shit.
i'm happy as long as you happy.
adil? deal..!

yehaa~ gudluck!

i know its been a busy week for you.

i'll try to understand.

hehehehe~

do all the best for the upcoming solid and mechanic!

ganbate-neh!

gudluck!

chuk tak kacau abg mggu ni keyh?

*261010-miss u abg!*

sakit hati.

ckp nk col blk.
after siapkn report.
skeeeeet je lg.
chuk tggu.lama.
tp sbb ckp nk col.tggu gak.
smpai lelap depan lappy.
dgn ur skype's profile besar2.
t'jage 349am and only a few words from u.
menitis air mata di pagi yg hening.
terima kasih.

I am going to write "I Miss You'' on a rock and throw it to your face so that you know how much it hurts to miss you!

Wish You Were Here

 

I can be tough, I can be strong
But with you, it's not like that at all

There's a girl that gives a shit
Behind this wall, you just walk through it

And I remember all those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here. 

All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it, just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you near, near, near
I wish you were here.

I love the way you are
It's who I am, don't have to try hard
We always say, say it like it is
And the truth, is that I really miss

All those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.

All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it, just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you near, near, near
I wish you were here.

No, I don't wanna let go, I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go

No, I don't wanna let go, I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you here, here, here
I wish you were here
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you near, near, near
I wish you were here.

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you near, near, near
I wish you were here. 

four wife-1 husband

good morning!ohaiyo gozaimasu!annyeonghaseyo!selamat pagi cinta!

wah. pagi-pagi lagi tajuk dah hot. sesuai la ngan cuaca ais kt cni. brrrr~ cejuk! ujan tak benti dr smlm.

ya Allah,moga-moga ini adalah hujan rahmat. bukan hujan bala dariMu ya Allah. amin. *tlg aminkn jugak ye*

^______________^

harini saya cuba senyum selebar yg bole. walaupun hati mendidih mcm air menggelegak! hahahahaha... nak tau sebab musababnye? here we go on the list!

1 - why?

smlm dan hari sebelumnya saya skype ngan cik abg syg. hati gembira bagai dipalu. cewah. dupdapdupdap. perasaan tu saling tak ubah sama sprti mase ktorg mula-mula kenal dulu. seems like i've found the lost time space of one year ago. when i shudn't leave his side before. therefore, saya mimpikan dia.

2 - when?

saya xbole nak agak la pukul berapa *datuk harimau* saya mula mimpi. tp yg jelas, saya lelap lam jam 2pagi. dan t'sedar jam 345pagi. 12122011.

3 - who?

ishk. tanye lagi sape. lumpy tol la. mesti la cik abg saya. Muhammad Najib bin Mohamad Supian. hehehehe. siap bagi name penuh lagi. lau tak kenal, try la search kt pakcik google. mesti ade. dia artis tau! nk tgk gmbr? ade. lam purse. heh!

4 - what?

apa jadi lam mimpi tu? eyyy, mne bole gtau. secret. hahahaha! bukan mimpi basah tau even kat cni ujan tak henti-henti. nonono! just, dia hadir lam mimpi saya. exactly same like 21feb2010. wearing all black. smart looking guy with sweet smile. he take my hand. more like he hold my hand. tightly. nak lintas jalan je. hehehe. risau tol kot saya xdpt nk lintas. on that time, my chest feel like bursting out coz debaran yg melampau. but this time, we did not lepaking at stall but some nice and cosy restaurant with romantik candle light dinner. ngee~ he pull out the chair for me. and we sit facing each other while holding hand. seems like the restaurant only exclusive for us. he stares at me. and i stares him back. i can see in his eyes the lovey dovey he feels for me. but i also notice that he's hurt becoz of loving me. we didn't say anything. just sharing our thought thru eyes. i mouth silently saying "i love you" but he keep staring at me with teary eyes. then he replied "i'm sorry my love". i wrinkle my face. asking him why must he say sorry instead of "i love u more" like we always says before. he then just shook his head and replied in deep voice. "chuk, i'm sorry for loving you and moreover i'm sorry for i may hurt you after this. i've made my stand. you're my past. and i do love you till now. but out there, there's a girl who love me more than you do. she cares for me when you're not around. she makes me happy when you only make me hurt. she can give anything that you can't. she doesn't have any problem with my family in term of political issue like yours. she support my theater activity. most importantly, she's here beside me when my life is upside down. eventhough at first i didn't have 'that' feeling with her, but later on my heart just grow fonder to her. me myself start to like her more than you. i keep comparing her between you and she's better in many ways than you. everything says that she's way more better than you. and i know, she won't hurt me like you do. i will love her and i will love only her for the rest of my life. you're just not in dictionary of my life anymore. instead of choose you who have hurt me much more before, which i'm not sure  if u will repeat it again, i'm rather willing to take her and make her as my queen as long as i live here. i'm sorry chuk."

4 - how?

how did the story end? what did i replied to him? let it be my secret. hahaha. but the story didn't end. saya terjaga dr tido tepat jam 345pagi. kekekeke. with tears and sweat. if tears tu, tau la nape. tp sweat tu, mcm berlari kt highway 1km. hahaha.

- the end -

  there we go. dah tau la kan nape tajuk cmtu? hehehe. tajuk cam gempak tp sentap. thats all from me. dh smyg subuh ni tak dapat tido lak. takut mimpi yg sama continued. hahaha. celaka! eh, not you. me la yg celaka. sbb bole reka mimpi cmtu. well, can't blame me at all. its bcoz abg xreti nk berlakon ngan chuk. heh! asik bikin kantoi je. mcm sengaje je nak sakitkan hati chuk. kbye!

^_____________________________________________^ 

feel stuffy inside my chest~

.now,everything is not exclusive for me only.

.whatever he did with me,he also did it with her.

.feeling like i'm a fool.

.but more likely i'm willing to be fooled.

.i can't see how all these thing will end.

.but hopefully,he's not trying to cheat on me.

.coz if he do,i'll kill him for sure.

hahahahaha!!

.he used to be my special one and he will be.

.for the rest of my life.

my sunshine!

i know you were here but you're not mine.

not yet!

two-timing!

dia ckp dia rindu saya.

betul.

tak tipu.

325am.11122011.

saya tido lam senyuman.

alangkah indahnya perasaan itu.

sgt.sgt.sgt.rase bahagia.

sepertinya dia masih milik saya.

macam dulu.

..............tapi

but..............

hari ini.

saya rasa seperti ditipu.

bukan salah dia.

salah saya sbb datang secara tiba-tiba.

mengganggu kehidupan dia.

mengganggu hubungan dia.

what a bitch.

hahaha.

i am a bitch.

for letting go a kind and worth-a-life man.

what goes around comes around.

maafkan saya.

kerana membuatkan anda pening.

maafkan saya.

kerana mengganggu hidup baru anda.

maafkan saya.

kerana mengecewakan hati anda.dahulu.

sememangnya saya tak berhak langsung nk demand lebih.

langsung tak berhak nk cembura memBABI buta.

heh.

hate to see.

hate to think.

even more hate to know the truth.

p/s : i've seen enough.either on ur blog or on her blog.

and yes.i've found hers.wohooo!

_______________________________________________________________________________

You've been on my mind,

I grow fonder every day,

Lose myself in time,

Just thinking of your face,

God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go,

You're the only one that I want,

I don't know why I'm scared,

I've been here before,

Every feeling, every word,

I've imagined it all,

You'll never know if you never try,

To forget your past and simply be mine,

I dare you to let me be yours, 
your one and only,
Promise I'm worth it,
To hold in your arms,
So come on and give me a chance,
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,
Until the end starts,

If I've been on your mind,

You hang on every word I say,

Lose yourself in time,

At the mention of my name,

Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close,

And have you tell me whichever road I choose, you'll go?

I don't know why I'm scared,

'Cause I've been here before,

Every feeling, every word,

I've imagined it all,

You'll never know if you never try,

To forget your past and simply be mine,

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only,

I promise I'm worth it, mmm,

To hold in your arms,

So come on and give me a chance,

To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,

Until the end starts,

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart,

I know it ain't easy giving up your heart,

Nobody's perfect,

(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart),

Trust me I've learned it,

Nobody's perfect,

(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart),

Trust me I've learned it,

Nobody's perfect,

(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart),

Trust me I've learned it,

Nobody's perfect,

(I know it ain't easy giving up your heart),

Trust me I've learned it,

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only,

I promise I'm worth it,

To hold in your arms,

So come on and give me a chance,

To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,

Until the end starts,

Come on and give me a chance,

To prove I am the one who can walk that mile,

Until the end starts.

*Adele - one and only *

aku rindu ko mu najib supian!!

saya dh tido.

saya terjaga.

saya capai phone.

saya call pakcik ini http://bilamasaada.blogspot.com/

wuuuu~

nape saya call dia?

sbb.....

1-saya rindu dia.

2-saya rindu dia.

3-saya rindu dia.

 tp..dia rindu saya tak?

urmmm~

kot?

saya nk dia rindu saya!

nape?

sbb..

saya sayang dia!

*tutup muka ngan selimut*

iye.saya sayang dia.

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe~

saya rindu dia!

saya sayang dia!

someone LIKE you ^_^'

I heard that you settled down

That you, found a girl and married loved her now

I heard your dreams come true

Guess she gave u things, i didn't give you

Old friend my love, why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold it back or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited 

But i couldn't stay away, i couldn't fight it

I hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded

That for me, it isn't over

Nevermind, i'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me, i beg, i remember u say;

"sometimes it last in love but it hurts inside"

You'd know, how the time flies

Only yesterday, was the time of our lives

We were born and raised in a summer haze

Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But i couldn't stay away, i couldn't fight it

I hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded

That for me, it isn't over

Nevermind, i'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me, i beg, i remember u say;

"sometimes it last in love but it hurts inside"

Nothing compares, no worries or cares

Regret's and mistakes they're memories made

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste

Nevermind, i'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me, i beg, i remember u say;

"sometimes it last in love but it hurts inside"

Nevermind, i'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me, i beg, i remember u say;

"sometimes it last in love but it hurts inside"

 

its someone like you-know-who-you-are

welcome back.what goes around comes around.

its been a loooooong time since i've updated my blog.hahaha!nothing much to share actually.coz i know nobody cares to read it.DANG!

i'm fine,thankyou if u might ask.kekekeke~ never been this 'fine' before. kepala otak dh menggila nk mengamuk bagai. tp tahankan aje. sbb? xde yg nk melayan!

its ok lah.what goes around comes around.once upon a time, i've hurt my beloved person.and now, i'm gonna pay for all of it. WOHOOOO!  #apepontabole!

since i'm the criminal, i'm gonna bear the consequences.i know i'm wrong and u blame me for that.its fine.but please dont torture me as much as i've done to u before.u may take it all,strongly,but i cant.even for a sec.

wishing sooo much dat u only belong to  me.only me.not others.

sekian.

really meant it by this vid.